Exploring Sexuality: Understanding the Many Ways We Love and Desire
Sexuality is personal. Deeply so.
It shapes how we relate, how we desire, how we feel at home in ourselves…and sometimes not.
And yet for many people, sexuality is also a source of confusion, pressure, or silence.
Especially if the version of attraction we feel doesn’t match what we were taught to expect.
Regardless of political winds, as a society we are moving towards a more diverse and multi-faceted definitions of sexuality:
A 2021 U.S. Gallup poll found that 7.1% of adults identified as LGBTQ+, including 1 in 5 Gen Z adults — a number steadily increasing each year as social acceptance grows. (Gallup).
This isn’t just about labels. It’s about identity.
It’s about finding the language that helps you say, “That… that feels like me.”
Contrary to popular belief, the idea of diverse sexualities is not new.
Across cultures and centuries, humans have expressed a wide range of attractions, relationships, and identities:
- In many Indigenous North American cultures, Two-Spirit individuals were recognized as holding both masculine and feminine traits — often honored in spiritual and societal roles (PBS).
- In South Asia, the Hijra community has existed for centuries — a third-gender category recognized in religious texts and social structures (Britannica).
- Ancient Greek society acknowledged same-sex love as part of a broader expression of intimacy and mentorship.
What’s changed is not the existence of these experiences — but our collective willingness to name them more openly.
Still, navigating your own sexuality today can feel daunting. Especially when it’s framed as a test you’re supposed to pass.
But this isn’t about being right.
It’s about feeling seen.
You don’t need to memorize every identity or flag.
You don’t need to come out, define yourself perfectly, or explain your journey to anyone but yourself.
You only need one thing:
A sense that you’re not alone.
Because you’re not.
Sexuality Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All
We often assume sexuality is binary — you’re either straight or gay. But real human experience is far more nuanced and can’t be simplified down to just two sexualities.
Sexuality exists on a spectrum. Some people feel stable in one identity for life. Others feel their attractions shift across time, context, or emotional connection. That doesn’t make it less valid. It makes it human.
Sexuality can include:
- Who you’re attracted to (and how)
- How often (or whether) you experience desire
- Whether that attraction is emotional, romantic, physical, or all three
For many, sexuality doesn’t feel like a static label — but a lived experience. And for those just beginning to explore, that can feel freeing… or overwhelming.
Either way, you’re not doing it wrong.
Common Sexualities
We’ll explore some of the most common, but lesser known sexual identities below — not to box anyone in, but to offer language that helps people feel recognized.
This is not — and never will be — a comprehensive list.
There are dozens more identities that reflect the nuances of human attraction. You don’t have to learn them all. But maybe one of them gives you a word for something you’ve always felt.
And if not? That’s okay too. You’re allowed to exist beyond language.
It’s Okay Not to Know
You don’t need to know everything right now. Or ever.
Your sexuality can shift. Or stay the same. It can show up differently in different relationships. It can surprise you later in life. Or stay quietly constant from the start.
There’s no quiz that can define you — only questions you’re allowed to ask yourself.
You don’t need a flag to belong. You don’t need a label to be valid.
Curiosity is enough.
Respecting Other People’s Journeys
The more we learn about sexuality, the more we realize: everyone’s experience is different.
Some people know early. Some people know late. Some never feel the need to name it at all. That doesn’t make anyone more “real” than someone else.
What matters most? Listening. Without assumption. Without correction. Without trying to tidy their story into something more comfortable.
And when you get it wrong? That’s okay too. Ask gently. Stay open. Keep learning.
Sexuality is personal — but it’s also communal. How we treat each other matters.
Frequently Asked Questions
Some common sexual orientations include heterosexual, gay/lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, demisexual, and queer. But this is just a starting point — many more exist.
Yes. Many people explore or reexamine their sexuality at different points in life. It’s part of learning who you are.
Then you don’t have to. Some people prefer broader terms like queer, or no label at all. You get to define your experience — or not.
Sexuality is about who you’re attracted to. Gender is about how you identify internally. While they often intersect, they’re distinct.
No. Sexuality includes physical attraction, but also emotional connection, romantic desire, identity, and how you experience intimacy overall.
Yes. Some people experience fluidity in their attractions or identities. Your sexuality doesn’t have to stay the same for it to be valid.
There’s no fixed number. Some resources list dozens, others over 600. Human desire is diverse — and growing awareness means more identities are being named. (Source)
Closing Thoughts
There’s no finish line here. No master list you need to study. No identity quiz that will give you all the answers.
You don’t owe anyone certainty.
You don’t owe anyone your story.
You don’t have to prove who you are to deserve community.
You only need to know: you’re allowed to wonder. You’re allowed to change. And you’re not alone.
📍 Want more? Explore deeper articles, resources, and reflections at www.stratusvir.com.
Let your truth find you — not in a rush, but in recognition.
About The Author
Brendan Abbott is a certified coach, writer, and former executive exploring the intersections of identity, desire, and emotional clarity. He creates spaces — online and off — where people can reflect, reconnect, and remember who they really are.
